My Choice

Well the decision has been made and carried out. It’s hard to say now how I feel about it. I know I have made the right choice. Choosing God over something/someone is always the best choice. However with that said it doesn’t make it suck any less. I thought it maybe was going somewhere, I thought it could have eventually been love.

My friends tell me their proud of me and I'm brave but right now at this very moment I don't feel brave. Maybe I will tomorrow.

Decisions Decisions

It's been so long. So funny that my last blog said the same thing. I was reading these old posts and began to miss this. So maybe just maybe I'll began again. I'm thinking another reason why I need to write is I'm trying to decide what to do about a situation I'm in now. But the hardest thing about writing about this situation is actually putting the words down. I have the words in my head but to see them in print where real people can read and judge is a whole other thing! The thing is I don't really know if I'm trying to decide or if really I'm trying to find the courage to do what I know I should do. I think that's the thing about making decisions-we usually know what the right choice is, but we just don't have the courage to make it! "I know what you want me to do. I know what I should do. I just don't know what I'm gonna do." (Sleepers, 1996)

Long Time

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged! At first there was not a lot going on to blog about and then there was too much going on to blog about.
I would like to get my thoughts together to blog about it, but there’s just so much. (can I say blog one more time!?)

I’m starting a new season in one part of my life. I was actually really happy with the old season, but it ended – not by my choice but by some bad choices of others. So I’m just doing what I always do – let it roll and keep going. Don’t get me wrong, it bothers me, it really bothers me.
There are days when I get really mad at the people that made the choices. There are days when I feel sad for the people that made the choices, sort of feeling sorry for them that they have to go through this, but then I usually get mad all over again because I think about how it's their fault we're all in this mess. Then there are days when I don't think about how I feel, but I think about how good God is and how faithful he is and how he will bring ALL of us out of this and that even though we feel like nothing is ever going to be as good as it was, it will...someday.
I'm not even sure I want to start blogging again, but a friend tells me that I should because it will probably help me heal. We'll see

No Bitter Root

I read this yesterday:

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Wednesday, March 03 2010

"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." - Hebrews 12:15
In business and life the opportunity to harbor bitterness for a wrong suffered is great. We are given plenty of opportunities to grow bitter from relationships that bring hurt and pain. The writer of the Hebrews passage above admonishes us not to miss the grace of God so that we won't take up bitterness as a response to life's pain. He cautions us against this because he knows that a bitter root grows and grows until it eventually defiles many others through a wake of bitterness. If bitterness is allowed to take root, we become imprisoned to it. God's grace will no longer have as great an effect in our lives. We become ineffective, insensitive, and spiritually dead. We can even become physically ill from it. God does not live in bitterness. He lives in grace. He has provided grace for every person to walk in.

One day I was challenged to deal with an individual who hurt me terribly. I was faced with a decision. Would I choose bitterness, or would I choose grace? Oh, how my natural tendency was to choose bitterness. But God provided the courage to choose grace. With that grace came freedom - a freedom to love and even accept the person who was the source of such pain.

This is the real place where Christ's power is most revealed. We cannot live without His supernatural grace. Are you in need of grace today? It is there for the receiving. It will take courage to accept it and walk in it. This will be your step to freedom.

I totally agree with the above. But I also have questions and sometimes it's easier read than done. What do you do when the "source of such pain" is another Christian who should be "choosing grace" ALSO? What do you do if let's say they were a leader in the church? Is it wrong to feel like they should be the one to take the first step to mend this situation? Is that type of thinking, the start of bitterness?
How do you mend a situation where both parties feel they are right? Is there no middle ground?
Lord, I pray for your strength, guidance and wisdom to know the right thing to do.

Amazed by Grace

I am amazed everyday at God's grace! What else can I say? After everything we do, he still forgives! Over and Over. And Over again. Somebody makes us mad once(maybe twice) and "we're done" but not God. Thank you God! When I was younger I used to always picture it when the preacher would say "your name's written in the Lamb's book of Life" - I would think, man my page is probably getting ready to tear from all the erasing and writing over. Funny how we used to think.

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I wrestle with my pain, struggle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause

WTHeck?

I got blog spammed!

New Years Resolution

Now normally I don't make new years resolutions. Why? Hum, that's a good question. Maybe it's because they always get broken so I don't see a point. or maybe it's because I break them and I don't want to feel like a failure? OR MAYBE it's because I can't think of one good enough to keep....Let's go with that one...

Well guess what? I thought of one some good enough to keep this year!
A few days after the new year I re tweeted something from, of all people, RevRunWisdom, His tweet said "I've learned to be content in whatever situation I'm in! (Philippians 4:11)" I knew the verse but wondered if there was any thing else so I looked it up. I ended up reading the whole chapter. so THAT'S my new years resolution(s)!

This year I plan to:

1. Rejoice in the Lord always!
2. Again I say Rejoice!
3. Let my gentleness be evident to all.
4. I will not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, and with thanksgiving, present my requests to God.
5. Let God's peace which transcends all understanding guard my mind and heart.
6. Think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent AND praiseworthy!
7. Be content in whatever situation I'm in!
8. Remember I can do all things through Him

so there we go....that shouldn't be to hard...

Background - Neal Coomer

Check out this video from my cousin Neal

Recap 3.1.2

Christmas was good. I love spending time with my family. And I got a really cute purse!

I took my tree down today and I must say I'm pretty glad I didn't put any other decorations up. I barely got enough motivation to take down the tree!

Today was a very emotional day at church. It was Pastors Curtis & Charmaine's last day. I will miss them so much!

I'm on vacation this week and I am very happy about that!

HILARIOUS

OH My this is the funniest thing!!!!

Make sure you type in Jingle Bell Rock and then type in another song - a non Christmas song too!

Christmas Carols

HILARIOUS

You will be missed!

Yesterday we found out that Pastors Curtis & Charmaine Bridgeman are starting another chapter in their journey. It's sad news for us, but I know that they are following the will of the Lord so I can't be anything but happy for them! I would like to let them know that they have taught me so much and I will miss them dearly! I wrote this blog awhile back when we were honoring our pastoral staff. It was fitting then and definitely still is!!!

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Today I would like to honor Pastors Curtis & Charmaine Bridgeman. Pastors Curtis & Charmaine are absolutely the BEST music and worship leaders I have ever sat under! Not only are they super duper singers & song writers, they also know how to lead us into getting our praise on! Before I came to NMVC, even though I’d grown up in church, I never truly knew what it meant to “get my praise on”. I think that being in the choir and learning from Pastors Curtis & Charmaine helped me know how! When we practice on Tuesday nights, we don’t just learn the songs. Pastors Curtis & Charmaine teach us how to sing the song by making sure we make “ROOOUND SOOOUNDS”, and making sure we properly pronounce words like “PRAISE” instead of “PRAAIZE”. They show us how much feeling to put in the songs by telling us if they were in sitting in the crowd this is what they would look like…Pause for a mental picture (picture Pastor Curtis sitting barely clapping his hands, no emotion on his face, saying “oh that’s a lovely song”). They show us their keen sense of fashion by coordinating our colors each week! They get our minds ready for worship by bringing forth the Word during practice (seriously we practically have church sometimes!) and also by sending encouraging emails during the week. As you can see, they do way more than just “lead the singin”. I think I could probably speak for everyone at NVMC – Thank you Pastors Curtis & Charmain! Thank you for all you do for NVMC! We love and appreciate you! And I know for me personally, it’s an honor to be a part of your ministry!

the tree and stuff

It’s been a while.

I put the tree up. I think after Christmas I’m going to have to buy another one. This one seems crooked – at the top too, but it’s still pretty. I always love putting up the tree because I forget about the ornaments I have and they make me smile seeing them again.
Even though I have my tree up, I don’t really have any other decorations up, not even sure if I’m going to get them out. It’s just less I have to put away! And plus it’s not my year to “do” Christmas. I had to hurry and wrap some presents to put under the tree because Coney thinks the tree skirt is a dirt pile to hide his food in! He makes me smile.

Speaking of presents, I found the best wrapping paper! and I've decided that every present I give this year will be wrapped in it!

I joined the D2D Drama ministry at church. So far it’s been a lot of fun! We did our first skit Sunday and I think it went well – we got a lot of good feed back so that’s good. And we’ve got some other skits in the works. Right now there are just 4 of us and we have so much fun during practice! We’ll hopefully be doing some videos so I’ll post when we do.

it's TOO early!

So I'm finally putting up my Christmas tree this weekend. For those that know me, they could probably hear the sarcasm in my voice right there! Each year it gets worse! I mean you can't even celebrate Halloween and Thanksgiving because of all the Christmas stuff in the stores! There was even a house in my neighborhood that had their Christmas lights turned on, on Halloween, but would not answer the door for trick or treaters! and they had put those lights up a couple of weeks BEFORE that! come on people slow down!

Thanks = Praise

If you really think about it, the word Praise & Thanks are very similiar
Praise: the offering of grateful homage in words or song, as an act of worship.
Thanks: a grateful feeling or acknowledgment of a benefit, favor, or the like

I was reading through some old blogs yesterday and found this. I do think it's fitting on this Thanksgiving Day!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Praise until it stops!
Radiate was awesome tonight. Pastor Steven said something that made me think about some friends that are going through some rough stuff right now. He talked about how it's not a coincidence that right after the book of Job, the one book that everyone refers to when they are going through troubles, trials and bad times, is the book of Psalm - a book of Praise! And do you think that it's another coincidence that the longest book in the Bible is all about Praise? I think not! What were we created to do? PRAISE! He talked about how in Psalm 66:3, it says "Your enemies shall submit themselves to You" So when WE Praise, the enemies we face will submit themselves or in other words, they will STOP! When we praise, the enemy stops!
So I say to my friends, Praise! Praise Him! Praise! and when you feel like it's not working and you're hanging on by your pinky, Praise some more! Praise until IT stops!
And what's really crazy about all of this, is that I talked to this friend last night and we actually talked about Job! and about how she is reading a lot of the book of Psalm! So keep Praising and hanging on, my friend!
And WHEN it stops, Praise some more!

Giving Thanks for Past, Present & Future

I thank God for my past. I am thankful that I grew up in church and even though I strayed, I am thankful for His grace that covered my sins! I thank Him for the struggles I went through because they’ve made me a strong person.

I thank God for my present. I am thankful that I’ve come back to Him and for His grace that covers my sins! I thank Him for the struggles I go through because they are making me a stronger person.

I thank God for my future. I am thankful that I am moving forward and growing in Him and I know that if I mess up, His grace will cover my sin. I am thankful for the blessings I will receive because I know they will make me a more thankful person!

My prayer today

Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where you want me to
God I trust you

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach

God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding on to You

God your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

Laughing at Myself!

Last Monday night I went to a Pampered Chef party at Christy’s. Leslie and I rode together and she had told be before the party that she needed to leave by 8:30 so I decided to park in Christy’s back driveway so we would not get blocked in.
Now before I go on, I’ll tell you a little about her back driveway and my driving skills: ok so her back driveway is gravel and on a small hill and my driving skills, well they are very good except for backing up – I sometimes struggle with that.
Now for the rest of the story. So we’re in the car and I start backing up. I go a little crooked and I think to my self “I should probably pull up and start over” Did I? Um, no. Leslie mentions, how crooked I’m going and then all the sudden, “Crash!” right in the ditch I go! I try gunning it forward – stuck. I try gunning it backward – stuck! I was STUCK – backend in the street, completely bottomed out – frontend in the ditch! After that it’s a bit of a blur of laughter, jokes, Bullitt County good ole boys trying to pull my car out and then eventually calling a tow truck! After the tow truck guy finally got me out he informed me that the good ole boys had bent some sort of rod in the back of the (of course he mentioned all the car parts and specific rods but I don’t remember what he said, heck I didn’t remember 2 minutes after he told me!) Anyhoo, I had to get some work done on the car, but thankfully my insurance is going to reimburse me for that! Moral of the story: Listen to that little voice in your head that tells you to stop and start over!

I’m pretty sure that none of my friends will ever let me live this one down. It was all over Twitter that night AND I think Gary is still walking around giggling about it!
And I will also say that I’ve had favor throughout the whole situation! For example, I don’t have AAA, but Leslie does so I used her card. The AAA guy was supposed to charge me for the tow since she wasn’t there at the time, he didn’t. And my insurance didn’t give me a hard time – I thought they might since they weren’t able to inspect the car before I got it fixed.
A few people at work were surprised that I have such a good attitude about it – I was surprised they thought that – I mean, seriously you HAVE to be able to laugh at yourself!

Hysteria among other things...

Hysteria was a success! Yes it was hard, but it was so worth it! We had over 3000 people come in our doors just because of it! I know lives were changed and I can't wait to hear the testimonies that come from it!
I loved hearing people's reactions when they came out "What is this place besides a haunted house?" "This is a CHURCH?!"
I wanna say thanks to all the dedicated workers! We couldn't have done it without you! Thanks to Pastor Luke, Dana & Kim and their families for all the sacrifice and stress you had to go through! We definitely couldn't have done it with out YOU! I also want to say thanks to all the other people that didn't work directly in Hysteria but were there every weekend - Jehovah Java workers, concession workers, ticket takers, security, etc
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Yesterday at the Vision was awesome! Pastor gave a great message for some messed up people! Praise & Worship was awesome! His presence was thick and it was just what I needed! I want to be better not bitter!
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Tonight I'm going to a meeting for the Drama Ministry and I'm very excited to join! It's going to keep me even more busy, but I'm SURE it'll be worth it! It's funny some people I used to work with would ask me to do stuff and then they would say "Oh let me guess you can't, you have choir?" so now they can say "oh let me guess you can't you have choir AND drama!" Hey it keeps me outta trouble!!!

Decorating

I’m in the process of I guess you could call it “finishing” my kitchen. A couple of weeks ago I painted the large wall in there, red. Then I painted my table and chairs black. I found a new picture to hang and ordered some uppercase living for 2 of the walls. I've only put up one of the uppercase living decals though. Now,I’m waiting on the cabinet and microwave stand I ordered. They are white, so I’m hoping it looks OK, otherwise I may have to paint them too! And before I put the new picture up and the other uppercase living, I have to fix the trim on the red wall – because I’m not the best painter and there may be some, a lot of spots that don’t look so hot.
I guess you can tell from reading above that the main colors in my kitchen are red and black (if not, read again…) so Sunday night Leslie came over to help me hang the uppercase living decals and we were thinking about what all I need to do in the kitchen and she says “First thing you need to do, is get rid of the ORANGE thing over there” If you must know it’s actually a footed soup bowl with a lid that was given to me by my memaw Pearl. So it’s been hard for me to not have it out but it really doesn’t match ANYTHING. I guess I will need to put it out of sight for decorative sake, sorry memaw!
I'll definitely post some pics when I'm all finished

Jehovah Shalom

October is a hard month for me. I’ve said this a million times but really there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my mom, but the 1st half of October (Oct 9th – Day she died & Oct 13th – Day of her Funeral) it’s like a flood of depressing thoughts that go through my head. I think about all the events that led up to her death, I think about the week that she was on life support and the decision that my dad had to make to let her go and how hard it must have been. I think about my grandparents and how this was the 2nd child of theirs that they had to bury. I think about my aunt and how at that time was supposed to be a happy time for her because she was pregnant with her 2nd child. I think about how the day after my mom’s funeral was my best friend’s birthday and I probably didn’t wish her a Happy Birthday. I could go on and on.....
and I don’t want to feel like I do because I know that Jehovah Shalom gives me peace and on these days that I feel like I need Him more, I take comfort in knowing that “Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted” and “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning”
Today is one of those days and I know I’ll get through it – I’ve been doing it for 23years. And that’s all I have to say about that.